As I settle on this path to Christ, I am encouraged by those who are sharing my journey. While I appreciate the compassion and companionship I have found online, I have also found much comfort in joining a small group at my church. It's a family group so we're all in the same boat with one, two, or three kids. Being a part of this group has helped me to hold myself accountable for my faith, my trust, my path to God.
This Friday will mark my 4th meeting with the group, and I must say, I really enjoy it. I don't have many friends, as many of my dear friends have moved away, but in this group, I have found a handful of women whose life's journeys are at a similar point to my own. I found the group warm and inviting and have easily taken my guard down and opening up was effortless.
Showing posts with label Born Again. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Born Again. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Going on a Journey
Hello Friends.
I am a self-proclaimed "Closet Christian." I was born and raised in the Catholic Christian faith and since then have had many trials and tribulations causing me to question my religion and my faith. Also, as I became more and more intellectually stimulated, it just made sense for me to believe in things that were scientifically proven, or that logically made sense. That steered me toward a path less faithful.
Along my journey, my path merged with another when I met a man who, for a lack of better words, swept me off my feet. We continued on our journey together and a together created a son. That's when everything changed. I was now responsible for the upbringing of another human being. As a social creature, I knew that people aren't meant to do this alone and I had support from my husband and family members, but I was missing that one key person: my mother. My mother died from stomach cancer when I was 19. I did the best I could to support my child, but it was hard without motherly guidance from her.
I decided to try to reconnect with faith. Faith in something bigger than me, bigger than my relationships, bigger than my family, bigger than my life. I was now at a crossroads. I wanted to believe. I wanted to have faith. But faith in what? What god out there made sense to me? What spirit or entity would bring me true inner peace? I returned to the Catholic church. The rituals, prayers, the guilt of the sinner - it all came back to me. I found some comfort just being in church. But now as an adult, I felt, well, just going through the motions. It was no longer for me. I didn't see it as a path for my children either. Then, through friends, we found a new church to try. (My husband was with me in wanting to find a faith place to call home.) We went to our first New Hope worship experience.
I must say that I was a little hesitant at first. From all I heard about this church led me to be a skeptic: "It's a cult." "It's full of Holy Rollers." "Jesus freaks." I didn't want to be one of "those". Regardless, we attended. There was a lot of music (like). A number of people were lifting their hands in prayer while singing. (Not so sure about that.) I guess maybe I was tainted with the negativity of overzealous religious organizations. Pushing their beliefs on to you. Preaching as if the world would end tomorrow.
But, surprisingly, it was
I am a self-proclaimed "Closet Christian." I was born and raised in the Catholic Christian faith and since then have had many trials and tribulations causing me to question my religion and my faith. Also, as I became more and more intellectually stimulated, it just made sense for me to believe in things that were scientifically proven, or that logically made sense. That steered me toward a path less faithful.
Along my journey, my path merged with another when I met a man who, for a lack of better words, swept me off my feet. We continued on our journey together and a together created a son. That's when everything changed. I was now responsible for the upbringing of another human being. As a social creature, I knew that people aren't meant to do this alone and I had support from my husband and family members, but I was missing that one key person: my mother. My mother died from stomach cancer when I was 19. I did the best I could to support my child, but it was hard without motherly guidance from her.
I decided to try to reconnect with faith. Faith in something bigger than me, bigger than my relationships, bigger than my family, bigger than my life. I was now at a crossroads. I wanted to believe. I wanted to have faith. But faith in what? What god out there made sense to me? What spirit or entity would bring me true inner peace? I returned to the Catholic church. The rituals, prayers, the guilt of the sinner - it all came back to me. I found some comfort just being in church. But now as an adult, I felt, well, just going through the motions. It was no longer for me. I didn't see it as a path for my children either. Then, through friends, we found a new church to try. (My husband was with me in wanting to find a faith place to call home.) We went to our first New Hope worship experience.
I must say that I was a little hesitant at first. From all I heard about this church led me to be a skeptic: "It's a cult." "It's full of Holy Rollers." "Jesus freaks." I didn't want to be one of "those". Regardless, we attended. There was a lot of music (like). A number of people were lifting their hands in prayer while singing. (Not so sure about that.) I guess maybe I was tainted with the negativity of overzealous religious organizations. Pushing their beliefs on to you. Preaching as if the world would end tomorrow.
But, surprisingly, it was
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